i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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