Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
