Having a random hookup so left but love u
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
