I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Sorry about my life...
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
