Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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