Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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