Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
