Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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