Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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