I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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