my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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