Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
