i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
