It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
