I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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