I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
