Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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