I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
