I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
