can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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