Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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