i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
