I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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