Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Screwed.edu
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
