so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Randomize
