There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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