so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
