why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
