I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
