everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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