i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Man, jail baloney is awful.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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