Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
