You're my little dorito
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
In other news, I just burned my penis
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
