we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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