Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
