I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Randomize
