oh god the rape fog is back!
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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