Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
