I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
