dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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