Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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