just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
