How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
