Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
