Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
