the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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