I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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