so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
