Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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