She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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